I want the Divine to smack someone upside their head, to cover their body in boils, to turn them into a pillar of salt There are times when I yearn for the God of the Bible’s Old Testament; the one who transformed a grandmother into a pillar of salt just because she was defiant and turned to look at the destruction of her home – the place where she grew up and raised a family. It’s not so much that I want vengeance, but rather, it is cosmic accountability that I seek.
I live with this uncomfortable paradox that is difficult for me to reconcile. I feel that we are all touched by the Divine. The bedrock of Quaker faith and practice is the belief that there is “that of God” in everyone, which I believe is true. When I find myself at an impasse in life I know (now) that I need only wait in expectant prayer and the answer will come. Here’s an example. I have always loved music. I play – not particularly well - the guitar and piano. And as a result, I often hear the voice of the Divine in the music wafting through my head. My wife is more than five years cancer free now, but the time when we were in the thick of her diagnosis and she was facing a major operation, was a difficult one for our family. One day during this fearful period, the Sam Cooke song, Stand by Me became an ear-worm, sounding over and over again in my mind, all morning long. When the night has come And the land is dark And the moon is the only light we'll see No, I won't be afraid Oh, I won't be afraid Just as long as you stand, stand by me As I was standing at my kitchen counter, looking out onto our back yard while waiting for my coffee to finish brewing the song popped up again and I found myself asking, “what is this about?” And as soon as I asked that question, the answer appeared. It was the Divine speaking to me in a way that would seep into my soul. Don’t be afraid. Stand by me. I broke down and wept. Not a tear or two kind of cry but a sobbing, weeping, tears pooling on the kitchen counter cry of thanks and relief for the whisper of grace I was given. So this is the paradox. I know in my soul that the Spirit of God speaks to everyone just as clearly as I know the Divine speaks to me. I know that God is whispering to our leaders to control guns, to honor equity, to stop hatred, greed and wars. God is calling on Donald Trump to stop dividing our country for his personal gain. The Divine is pleading with Benjamin Netanyahu to stop the carnage in Gaza and urging Putin to halt the war in Ukraine, and exhorting the Rapid Support Forces in Darfur to stop the genocide. The problem is, they aren’t listening or if they are, they don’t care. And that’s why sometimes I wish for the Old Testament God to pour down fire and brimstone upon those who commit atrocities for the sake of their own power and greed. I want the Divine to smack someone upside their head, to cover their body in boils, to turn them into a pillar of salt – just to make an example so the world will understand: God is calling. Listen up! I’m not proud of these feelings of cosmic wrath and understand that they aren’t very Quakerly. So I prayed for guidance, and the answer I received was this: “Listen. Have faith. Shine your own light onto the world.” I suspect this doesn’t just apply to me. I doubt I’m the only one with dreams of vengeance and wrath. The Bible says that Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt because she was disobedient and looked back. Maybe we are all called to look forward and not to look back, to become vessels of the Divine, to be the light of peace to those around us. And just maybe, that will be enough.
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AuthorMike Soika has been a community activist for more than 30 years working on issues of social and economic justice. His work for justice is anchored by his spiritual formation first as a Catholic and now as a Quaker. Pre 2018 Archives
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